


Just a Suggestion

by Marks



Category: Criminal Minds RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-26
Updated: 2009-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-06 11:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marks/pseuds/Marks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cut scene from "The Unauthorized Documentary of Matthew Gray Gubler."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Suggestion

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: being really ridiculously good-looking. It's a whole new world! Fictional characters within a real person fandom! Only I've already written that in bandom before, whatever.

"Andy, help me decide something."

The camera bobbed up and down. "What's up, Gube?"

"Which is my best side? This?" Matthew swiveled his neck, tilting his chin up and displaying one side of his chiseled jaw. "Or this?" He turned again, so Andy could better see the classic angles of his other side. It was hard being a living god sometimes, but Matthew was used to it. After all, it was a burden he'd borne his entire life.

There was a sigh from behind the camera, which Matthew could only assume was Andy being overwhelmed by his striking good looks. "I don't know."

"Yeah, me either," Matthew agreed. "It's like picking between the Mona Lisa and...I don't know, the Sphinx. How do you choose?"

Andy didn't get a chance to answer because the door to Matthew's dressing room opened suddenly, hitting the wall with a violent bang.

"Gubler, I'm gonna fucking kill you with my bare hands, I swear to God."

Matthew blinked handsomely. "Hey, Shemar."

"Don't you give me that goody-goody innocent act, you skinny little backstabber." Shemar was definitely angry, all heaving chest and narrowed eyes and shiny white teeth. Okay, so his teeth weren't _angry_ exactly, but it played into the whole furious motif thing Shemar had going. Matthew felt fairly confident that his shared genetics theory was right -- generations and generations and generations back. Still, rugged good looks like theirs had to share some sort of link. It couldn't just be _coincidence_.

"What can I do you for?" Matthew asked, shooting Shemar his classy fingerguns.

"Is it true?" Shemar stepped further into the room, the whir of Andy's camera zooming in on him vaguely audible in the background.

"Is what true?"

"That you went to the producers and suggested that my character should be written off the show so they could introduce a _kid detective_."

Oh. That.

"Well, people like kids..."

"Matthew. We work on a FBI drama about serial killers. On what planet would that be a good idea?"

"It was just a suggestion," Matthew said unapologetically. "It's not like I have any power over what the producers decide." Yet.

Shemar leaned in really close to Matthew, grabbing a handful of his shirt. He smelled really nice. Maybe one day smellovision would be a reality and their mingled smells would be brought to households the world over. "Remember when you asked not to be in any scenes with me?"

"I was only worrying about the audience. I mean, we have a lot of older women watching and the two of us in one scene might be bad for anyone with a heart condit --"

"No," Shemar said harshly and leaned closer, putting his knee up on Matthew's chair. This would have been fine -- Matthew was totally cool with sharing; he had a big, share-y heart -- but it was kind of uncomfortable having it pressed between his thighs. "Listen to me, because I'm only going to tell you this once: If you ever, _ever_ go to the producers making suggestions about ways to replace me or get out of scenes with me again, I will make your sad little existence so much sadder." Shemar pulled on the front of Matthew's shirt, lifting him clear out of his chair. Matthew shuddered hard and made a noise that sounded squeaky in playback later, but that was the fault of bad acoustics. "You don't want to find out how. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," Matthew whimpered.

Shemar let go abruptly, and Matthew fell back in his chair. "Good to see we're on the same page here," he said, flashing Matthew his genetically superior grin. "Have a great day."

"Bye, Shemar!" called Matthew weakly as Shemar slammed back out of the room. He turned toward the camera again. "Shemar's really, really great. That...was all acting. We're best friends, you know? Salt and pepper, ebony and ivory!" He crossed his legs and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "You get that, right Andy? That all comes through on film?"

"Sure, Gube," Andy agreed.

"Great. Really...really great. Hey, could you do me a favor?"

"What's up?" Andy asked.

"Could you just grab me one of those tissues from over there? Thanks."


End file.
